Things just got crazy. I learned that one of my friends, my bandmate like Hayley too. I think I saw this coming because of the way he treats Hayley. Then things got even more complicated.
One day, Hayley said that she had to go out and take care of something. She didn't say what it was. She just said that it was very important. She was out for a while, the whole afternoon. The sun went down and she hasn't been back in the bus yet. But she called and said that she'd be going back a little later so we didn't have to worry.
She did come back late at night. And guess what. She was drunk. She was baked like a cake. So this was the 'important' thing she had to do.
All the other guys were asleep. When she stepped in the bus I came to her.
"Josh!" she said, giggling as she wobbled into the bus and came to me in open arms. She hugged me tight.
"Hayley. You've been drinking?" I held her arm and led her in seeing that she could barely keep her balance.
"Well I had a couple. Maybe more. I don't know." she sat on her bunk bed. I sat on mine.
I know this is kind of wrong but I can't deny it. I really like the drunk Hayley because: one, when she's drunk she's brutally honest; two, she says and does the craziest things when she's high. She hasn't been high in a long time and I really missed the drunk Hayley. And I know that is wrong of me to think. But I can't avoid it.
She started saying all these crazy stuff and she talks about the most ridiculous things when she's like this.
"Man, I've never been this high... I'm so wasted... I feel so light... I feel like I'm floating... My hands are so small... My bed feels kind of lumpy... Children are so weird... Why do I not have a boyfriend?... Why did Shakespeare make the characters Romeo and Juliet so stupid?... Why are people so stupid?... Is that why aliens won't talk to us?... Are aliens real?" She'd say weird things like that. She'd even talk about politics and she doesn't talk about that when she's sober. I'd just nod, laugh and shrug at everything she says.
While she was saying these things I heard a familiar chuckle, particularly Zac's. He was awake but pretended to be asleep.
As much as I love drunk Hayley I still cared for her, of course.
"Hayles, you know you shouldn't drink. It's bad for your voice."
"Please. I'm not even *that* drunk!" I raised an eyebrow. "Okay. Maybe I am. And so what? Can't I have a break?" her breath smelled like alcohol. But I didn't mind. Then she had this wide grin plastered on her face. She looked at me.
"What?" I ask and got up. She stood up as well and moved closer to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Besides," she says, "I needed the guts to do this." she puckered up and leaned in and just when I figured out what she was trying to do I stopped her and gently pushed her away.
Why would I do that? To Hayley? The one person I've admired for so long? Well, we already know that she's drunk, and that she does crazy things when she's in that state. She does these silly stuff and when she's sobered up she'd say "God, I was so wasted. I cannot believe I did all that." That is probably the reason why she hasn't been drinking for a while. Because of what alcohol does to her other than because drinking was bad for her singing voice.
Hayley didn't give up. She tried to kiss me again but I stopped her.
"Come on Josh! Stop being such a pussy."
"Hayles stop. You're drunk. You don't know what you're doing."
"Please Josh. Just one kiss." I laughed. As much as I really want to kiss Hayley I still cared for her and she's probably going to regret kissing me tomorrow (if she does kiss me). I was afraid that it could change our relationship and make things awkward between us. I don't want that to happen. And besides, I don't want her to be drunk when we have our first kiss. That's just not how I want it to be. It's not how I imagined it to be like.
But she just won't stop.
"Just kiss me!"
I heard Zac chuckle again.
God. She just won't give up. Sometimes it seems that when she's drunk, another person borrows her body and somehow possesses it and that person is very hyper and crazy. My imagination is that weird.
I held both of her arms and took them off my shoulders.
"Just stop." I chuckle. She's probably mad right now because of my laughing. But I can't help it. Drunk Hayley really makes me laugh. I turned my back to her so she would stop. I expected her to give up and go to bed. But she wrapped her tiny arms around my waiste and rested her head on my shoulder.
"Josh. I know that you know that you like me. And it shows." I chuckle again.
I don't reply. She sighed.
"Is there another girl?"
"Are you gay?" I heard Zac giggling again. He was probably hearing this.
"No." I laughed slightly.
"Do you think I'm pretty?" she asked. I turned my head and looked her in the eye.
"I think you're very pretty." I said. She spun me around.
"Then why won't you kiss me?!"
"Because," I sigh, " This is the problem with you when you're drunk. You do these things and you regret them when you're sober."
"Goddammit Josh! Just kiss me already!"
"No!" that came out louder than I intended. It took her back a bit. "Sorry Hayles. Not tonight. Not when you're... like this."
She didn't take this very well. She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. She was upset. But hey, it was for her own good.
"Josh you're such a pussy!" she hissed. She turned around making her hair brush past my face. She probably did that on purpose.
You're probably thinking I'm so stupid for not letting Hayley kiss me after all it's just a kiss. But I'm not. I know better than to let her do that drunk. And what would the guys think of me? What would people think of me if I let her do it even if it was just a kiss? They'll probably think I'm trying to get laid with the drunk girl and take advantage of her. Well, there goes my imagination again.
She stomped her way to her bed. She was pretty mad. Here goes Hayley again. She's just so mysterious. I can't tell what she's thinking sometimes. I can't believe she wanted to kiss me. But what the hell. She was drunk. She's done things way crazier. So I didn’t think much of it. Until the next day. And that day would be Jeremy’s birthday and he was going to have a party.
The next morning Hayley woke up pretty late. Her hair was a mess and she had to take a shower to take the smell of alcohol off of her.
She wouldn’t tail to me. She barely even talked to anybody except when she had to greet Jeremy happy birthday. She was obviously upset with me. I felt pretty bad about it. Maybe I should have just let her kiss me? Nah. Either way it would still end up like this.
Taylor was being Mr nice guy to Hayley again. It was starting to annoy me.
That afternoon, we all went to Jeremy’s house for the party. It was like any other party with all the people, music and everything. It was kind of a pain in the ass because Hayley kept ignoring me. I would try to talk to her but she would find ways to not talk to me. I thought she just needed some time to cool off so I let her avoid me and I decided to just leave her alone.
Almost everybody at the party left. Hayley, Taylor, Jeremy, Zac, Kat, Amy and I were left. We all went to the living room. Hayley was still avoiding me.
Was the party fun? I don’t know. It wouldn’t be so bad if Hayley wasn’t so mad at me.
What have I done wrong?
We were in Jeremy’s living room. We were there and we just talked excluding Hayley and Josh. She was sitting by herself. She was still pretty mad because of what happened last night. Yes, I heard what happened then. I was awake. I heard everything.
I would occasionally ask her if she was okay. She’d only reply “I’m fine.” And that was it.
Hayley seems to really like Josh. It seems that way when they’re together especially last night. But whatever.
I want Hayley to stop liking Josh. If you’re guessing it’s because I’m jealous then you’re absolutely right.
It started off as a little crush. When I first met her I thought she was pretty, fun and quirky. I simply like how pretty she was and how fun she is to be around. And that was it. But then I really got to know her and we became very close. I found myself falling for her and liking her even more. I tried to stop myself from feeling these things because I thought that I would never have any chance with her. But I can’t make it go away. She was just so amazing and she wasn’t like any other girl I’ve met. I thought it was very nice of her to invite me to join the band. When we started to bond and really know each other better I realized that I didn’t just like her. I wanted her.
Knowing that she sort of like Josh makes me very jealous. He was always the lucky one. It makes me feel so dirty when they goof around like teenagers in love. Especially last night. I wish I never heard any of it.
So we were there in the living room. Some of us sat on the floor, some on the couch. It was getting boring. And Zac, being the icebreaker that he is, had this crazy idea. He suddenly announced,
“Let’s play truth or dare!”
Almost everybody agreed since it was getting boring. Hayley just sat there not wanting to participate. Josh kept quiet. We all sat on the floor in a circle. Josh finally joins in. Hayley was still being stubborn but Jeremy talked her into joining. She didn’t want to at first but gave in eventually since it was Jeremy’s birthday so I guess she didn’t want to be a killjoy any longer.
So we played truth or dare. Guess who picked dares over truth all night. Me, Josh and Hayley. I think I know why they picked dares over truth. And me, well I’m very shy. I usually keep my secrets to myself. I tell some of them to Zac but he only knows a few. Josh already knows one of them. I don’t think Zac knows. Maybe he’s noticed. I don’t know.
The dares were easy. But then Jeremy gave me a dare and I think he was pretty drunk when he gave it to me.
“Kiss the prettiest girl in this room on the lips.”
I bit my lip for a second, thinking of what I should do. Maybe I should just fake it and kiss Amy or maybe I should be honest. Either way it was just a game. But I didn’t want to lie to anybody. Josh would know I was lying. Hayley always told me that Amy has this crush on me. She’d always tell me to ask her out. I’d just say, “I’ll think about it.” Sure, Amy is cute and nice and all that. But can’t Hayley see that it is her that I want to ask out and not Amy?
That is when I decided to be honest. I didn’t want to hide anymore. Hayley looked at me and expected me to kiss Amy who was right beside me but her expression changed when I stood up and walked towards her. Everyone fell silent when I knelt in front of Hayley. And I kissed her.
She didn’t push me away. She just let me. After the kiss, Hayley’s expression was unreadable. Amy walked out. The room was painfully quiet. Hayley walked out as well. Josh looked furious.
That is when I asked myself, “What have I done?” Was being honest the right choice?
Can you guess what book I got the truth or dare part from? It's one of my favorite books and I decided to make that part Tayley style. It was one of my favorite parts in the book. :D