I'm in my bunk right now. I'm thinking about what had happened these last few days. It all happened so fast. And I feel like something is up. I'm trying to figure out everything inside my head but I'm too confused. Everything is just so complicated.
This is what happened:
Days passed and I'm finally getting over that dream. In fact I almost forgot about it. Then I went on to our daily routine which is as always, performing, practicing, rehearsing, writing.
I still haven't told Hayley about my feelings for her, or about the dream. I know you think that I'm all shying away but honestly I'm just waiting for the right time to tell her. And that time hadn't come yet. But I hoped it will come somehow. I don't want to stay like this with Hayley for the rest of my life. I'd do anything to win her heart. But I'm waiting for the perfect moment to do that.
But sometimes I think waiting isn't such a good idea. There's always a possibility that someone could sweep her off her feet before I could. And I don't want that to happen so I guess what I'll do is keep an eye on her and make sure that I'm the one who gets her first (and last) and not some other dude. Sounds selfish but that is what I intend do do. I honestly don't know what I should do. And that is probably why I'm not doing anything.
There was this one time when we were having a break in the bus. We were all tired and I was sitting on the couch when Hayley suddenly comes and sits beside me.
"Hey," She was very sleepy so she rested her head on my shoulder. She started giggling and sniffing my shirt and my neck and then because she was really tired she fell onto my lap then I laughed softly.
"You know Josh, I just realized something." she smiles.
"Yeah? What?" I looked down on her.
"That you smell really really good." she says drowsily. I laughed.
"Well, thanks. I guess." I say but she probably didn't hear that. She has already fallen sound asleep on my lap.
I smiled to myself. I brushed some of her red locks away from her face. I began to run my hand through her hair and stroke her cheek. And I watched her. I just looked at her and thought she was the most beautiful person in the world. I began to think how amazing she is and how she has absolutely no idea that I'm always fantasizing about her. I thought of all these things 'til I was getting sleepy. I was just about to close my eyes when Taylor came in.
"Hey, what's up-" he stopped when he saw me and Hayley. I put my finger over my lips telling him to keep quiet because Hayley was already asleep.
"Sorry," he muttered. He looked at the sleeping beauty who had her head resting on my lap then he looked at me in a weird way.
I glanced up at him. But I was too tired to think about anything so I fell asleep as well. I lay my head on the arm of the couch.
As we go on with touring I noticed something odd. Taylor is surprisingly a little too nice around Hayley. Not that he's a bad guy and not that it's a bad thing. He's actually very nice to everybody. But he's a little extra nice to Hayley. It's like when a guy likes a girl he's either too nice or too mean to her. I have noticed this a lot of times before but I always end up to the conclusion that Taylor is just being himself and he's nice to everybody and he probably sees Hayley as his sister or something like that. But they became blatant, his actions I mean.
I would sometimes see the way he looks at her. He would always stare at her in deep thought.
I was starting to get mad. I was getting so mad that sometimes when I catch Taylor staring at Hayley I would give him dirty looks. It was getting in my nerves. But I knew I had to stop being mad but it seems very hard to do. I knew I didn't have the right to give Taylor all these death glares because Hayley isn't my girlfriend or anything like that but I guess I can't help it.
Then this happened:
"Why aren't you asking any girl out? You've been single for so long." Hayley asks as we walk to the store where the bus stopped. I shrugged.
"Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I'm not ready. Why?"
"How about you? At almost every concert some guy asks you out but you always turn them down."
"They're not good enough for me. Besides, I'm waiting for someone else to ask me out." That kinda hurt.
"Who?" I ask. She just shrugged too. We entered the store and started picking out chips and drinks. While we were choosing the snacks she asked me,
"Do you think I'm pretty?" She looked at me. I stopped picking snacks and looked at her.
"Yes. Of course." I grinned.
"Do you like me?"
I paused. Okay. I wasn't sure about that question. Does she mean like as a friend or like as something more than a friend? I didn't know if it was like or like like. I thought I should just tell her the truth.
"Then why don't you ask me out?"
I paused again. I wasn't sure what I should say. I got really nervous. She was looking into my eyes and I stood there looking back at hers not knowing what to say. Her poker face suddenly turns into a playful grin.
"I'm kidding. I'm kidding." She laughs and punches my arm playfully. She went on to pulling out food from the shelves and into the trolley while I stood there for a few seconds trying to comprehend the things she asked me. I shook my head and convinced myself that Hayley was just joking around like always. We paid for the snacks at the counter and went back to the bus.
When we got in, Taylor was there and he immediately took the heavy shopping bags Hayley was carrying.
"I'll get those."
"Thanks." Hayley grins. I eyed Taylor up and down. Then Hayley's eyes widen when she looks into the bags.
"Oh my gosh. I forgot to buy something." she says.
"Gatorade. I forgot to buy gatorade."
"What? Hayley we don't need those." I said.
"It's okay, man. Just let her buy them and we're good to go." Taylor says.
"I'll just buy some. I'll be back in a few." Hayley hopped out of the bus. Then Taylor and I were completely alone. I turned to him.
"You like her. Don't you?" I said.
"What? What do you mean?" He looked at me like I was crazy but I know that he knows exactly what I'm talking about.
"You know what I mean." I said but I didn't say it in an offensive way. It came out of my mouth in a calm way. I wasn't exactly thinking when I started asking him these questions. I didn't know that I was already interrogating him like he was some criminal and I was a cop. He kept denying that he likes Hayley until I finally say,
"You have feelings for her and you know it." Those words came out louder than I intended. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed.
"Yes. Okay. I like her. So I do." he finally admitted. "And so what? Why does this even matter to you? Why do my feelings for her matter to you? This shouldn't be a big deal to you unless... unless you like her too."
I froze. I didn't have anything to say against that so I didn't say anything. I knew he was right. I knew that he knew what he was talking about.
"That's it. You like her. Why didn't I notice this before. It was so obvious." I clenched my fists. "You like her Josh, and you know it, and you can't hide it."
"Well neither can you." I said through gritted teeth. That was the time when I knew very well that I had a rival. He's on the same tour bus, plays in the same shows, is always where we are and he's also always with Hayley. And again I know that I don't have the right to be mad at Taylor because of these reasons and I don't have the right to be mad at him because Hayley and I aren't together. But again, I just can't help it.
Hayley got back in the bus and Taylor and I were still looking at each other like we would be punching each other's faces in any minute.
"Hey, I'm back." she says as she got in. "So, what did I-" she paused when she saw Taylor and I in this staring contest. "-miss?" she finishes her question.
"Nothing." Taylor and I said in unison. When in fact she had missed a lot of things.
Aannnd before I forget... credits to bringitonbrunner for the idea of turning this fic into a Joshayley/Tayley. Gosh if it wasn't for you I wouldn't know how to make this fic interesting or even continue writing it!!! Thank you bringitonbrunner!!!!! haha
So... are you team Tayley or team Joshayley??
Hope ya'll liked it! don't forget to leave comments! :D