Hey! so... this chapter is a bit boring (and short). I don't really like it. sorry for not updating sooner. buzz and comment!!!
I open my eyes and breathed in as much air as I could. I then realize that I had been dreaming seeing that I was in the bus again in my bunk bed. I panted and breathed rapidly. I felt as if I really had sunk into the ground. What a nightmare. For a second there I thought that dream were true because everything felt so real. I sighed in relief thinking it was just a dream. But what makes me think the most is what that dream meant. What did it mean?
I hope my panting didn't wake anybody up. I looked over to see if Hayley was still asleep. And she was, sleeping like a baby. That made me feel a bit better. I laid back down but my eyes remain wide open.
I couldn't sleep after what had just happened. I couldn't stop thinking about that dream. How it started out so beautifully with Hayley right beside me. How things changed in a blink of an eye when she demanded to know what I had been keeping from her. How the skies darkened along with the look in her eyes. How the ground swallowed me whole. How I couldn't breathe when I was underneath. How Hayley just stood there and watched me get sunk into earth. And the thought that disturbed me the most, how I didn't tell her what she wanted to know because I was so afraid. Like she said in my dream, I was a coward. These thoughts kept crossing my mind.
But then I thought, it was just a dream. A story my mind makes up when I'm asleep. It's not like it means anything. It's not like I believe that the dream was trying to tell me something, a message. If it did then the message was blatantly obvious. Then I wondered if it is really trying to tell me to do something.
I kept tossing and turning with my head filled up with thoughts until the sun was up. I didn't get much sleep. It's not like I wanted to sleep anyway.
Everybody then got up and we all ate breakfast. At the table it felt very awkward. I was sitting next to Hayley who was busy eating her cereal.
When she greeted me good morning I just nodded. I didn't even dare look her in the eyes. I just sat there and played with my food with my head down. That dream was still in my head and sitting right next to Hayley after having that dream was unsettling. I feel guilty for not telling her my feelings for so long.
I didn't say a word at the table. Jeremy, Taylor, and Zac were all munching on their cereals and talking about the things that happened yesterday at our show. Hayley just kept quiet and she would occasionally look at me as if wondering why I wasn't saying anything. She wasn't being a sad kind of quiet but she was being a concerned kind of quiet. She was the only one who noticed that I haven't talked from the moment I got out of my bed since the guys were all busy talking. I really hope she doesn't ask me why I'm being quiet or why I'm not eating my favorite cereal which is not the usual me. If she does, I wouldn't know what to say. I can't tell her the truth. At least not yet.
The other guys finally noticed my unusual behavior.
"Hey, man. Are you okay?" Taylor asks. I look up. They all looked at me. Hayley looked at me with a concerned expression.
"I lost my appetite." I got up and left them. I went to my bunk bed. I lied down and stared at the bunk bed above me. I was just staring at nothing. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody, especially not Hayley or the other guys. It would make me feel very uncomfortable.
As I was lying on my bed I thought, I shouldn't let that dream change me. I shouldn't let it disturb my thoughts. I knew I had to get my mind off of it. It was just a dream, I kept telling to myself. Why do I let it control me?
I heard soft footsteps coming. I sat up. Hayley went in and sat on her bunk bed. I was nervous.
"Hey. You know, you've been acting a bit weird this morning. It's like you're not... you. Is there something wrong?" she asks.
"Weird? What do you mean? Nothings wrong, Hayles. I guess I just didn't feel like eating. I had a pretty big dinner last night."
"That's not what I mean. Josh, if you have a problem, anything you want to say, there's always me."
"Hayles, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."
"Okay, okay. If you say so. I still think there's something not right about you today." she said and got up.
"Like there was ever a day when nothing was wrong with me." I joked. Hayley chuckled.
"You got me thinking. You're right."she says. I smile.
"Same goes with you." I teased.
"I completely disagree." she played along. And she's right. In my eyes, everything she does is right. She can't go wrong in any way, at least that's what I see.
Then there was a complete silence and we just looked at each other for a moment, smiling. My grin fades when I remember how she didn't save me in my dream. I know perfectly that it only happened in the dream but I couldn't help but be sad. I look away.
"What?" she asks.
"Nothing. Just... I have to take a nap. I didn't get much sleep." I lied.